Time to Change – Day Ten

Well, I’ve officially hit double digits in my challenge!  I’m feeling really good today, much better than I have for a little while.  I think the healthy eating and regular exercise are starting to help, I feel cleaner and healthier than I have in awhile.  It’s a weird feeling to describe, but I guess my body was so used to junk that I didn’t know any better.

I went for my walk nice and early today, and it was perfect weather for it.  Cool but not cold, overcast so the sun wasn’t burn-y, a slight breeze.  For the first time in four days, I enjoyed the exercise instead of just doing it because I knew it had to be done.

I got some cleaning done today too, which for me, is no small fete.  I fucking HAAAAATE cleaning.  Like, I’ll avoid it at all costs, even if it means I’m surrounded by grossness.  People ask me how I can stand it.  Honestly, I just don’t really notice it.  I know that must sound crazy to most people, but it really doesn’t concern me at all.  Safe to say, if I was a sims character, I’d have the “slob” trait.  So for me to feel motivated enough to clean is saying something.

I guess I feel so good today because when I stepped on the scales this morning, I was officially under 91kgs!  Not by much, but still!  I’ve almost lost a kilo, and although it’s definitely a slower process than I’d like, at least all my determination and hard work is finally starting to reflect on the scales a little bit.  Next aim is to officially be out of the 90s, which is something I haven’t been in at least a year (possibly two).  I’m so close, I’m sure I can manage it!

The other reason I’m feeling good right now is that I signed my contract for my new job today.  Like I mentioned yesterday, it’s not the ideal job, but after hunting and being knocked back over and over again, it’s finally nice to know someone wants to give me a chance.  I dealt with the Regional Manager for both my interview and again today, and she’s one of the loveliest people I’ve met in a long time, all smiles and compliments that you can tell are actually genuine.  I’ve had a very different experience with Regional managers prior to this, so I’m looking forward to the new change.

I’m picking up my best friend tonight and we’ll probably wind up eating out.  This is going to be my first big cheat meal since I started this, and while part of me is concerned I’ll fall off the wagon afterwards, I’m determined not to.  Like I said in one of my first posts, my rule isn’t “absolutely no junk ever” – I’m just going to have it sparingly, and when I’m out.  After 10 days of eating healthy, I know one meal isn’t going to hurt too much.  Plus, I’ve allowed for it by having smaller meals earlier today and leaving more calories left over for tonight.  No guarantees I’ll stay under my daily limit, but hopefully I won’t completely blow it out either.

Hopefully y’all had a great day too!
-JD

#loveme challenge – Day Seven

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Day Seven – “One Thing that Is Just For You”.

Wow.  This is probably the toughest one yet.  I’m not sure if it means an object or a habit/action.  I’m guessing because this whole challenge is based around positive thoughts and acknowledging the good, it’s probably the latter.  I’m not sure encouraging materialism is all that positive (though I don’t care what anyone says, having a shiny new gadget is a great feeling!).

So, one thing I do just for me.  I guess I only have one thing I can put in here right now.  Given the no income issue, almost all the stuff I’d usually do regularly (going to the cinemas, eating out, going for long drives etc) aren’t feasible.  I have kept up one creature comfort, however, and that’s getting my nails done.  I only started doing this six months ago (although I had wanted to try it for a long while).  I know it might seem crazy to sink $50 into it every 3-4 weeks when I don’t have a job and rarely leave the house (save for going to job interviews and walking the dog around the neighborhood) but honestly, I love having them on and it makes me feel like I have control over at least some of my body and how it looks.  It also helps with my eczema – even though they’re quite long, fakies are also really dull and makes it harder to scratch yourself stupid.  Prior to getting them done, it wasn’t uncommon for me to wake up with scratch marks on my face like I’d been the victim of an attack.  I had been…an attack of being itchy my sleep.  Now, I never wake up like that because I physically can’t do that much damage.

I love all the different options you have with them, in terms of colours and shapes and length.  I’m a sucker for sparkles and I love how well-done they always turn out.  I also think (or maybe use as an excuse) that it makes me look more professional in job interviews.  It makes me appear more well-presented, and gives them a little taste of my personality, which doesn’t usually shine too brightly in such a formal, awkward environment.

Before you start, I know how bad it is for my nails.  They’re paperthin and brittle as hell, which kind of sucks because before this all started, I had really strong nails.  Part of me thinks after I get them done “this will be the last time, I won’t redo them after this” but I inevitably do.  I enjoy them too much, it’s helping with my skin condition and – honestly – I’m dreading having to go through the brittle-nail phase.  I know if and when I stop getting them done, my nails will eventually grow stronger and back to normal, but the in-between phase isn’t going to be fun.  So I keep going back and redoing them, putting off the inevitable.  #procrastinator4lyf

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-JD

Time to Change – Day Nine

Today wasn’t great.  It wasn’t as bad as yesterday though.  I slept horribly last night, I’m not sure why.  I was just restless and woke up heaps of times and struggled to get back to sleep.  Due to this, I was really tired all morning and felt very unmotivated.  I was hungry but couldn’t be bothered eating.  In the end, though, I gave myself a talking to and decided that – sleep or no sleep – I was going to get through today, just like I did yesterday.

I forced myself to eat a banana for breakfast, then went out on errands that I really didn’t want to go on, and that I’d been avoiding for awhile.  I got lost on the way there (completely normal for me) and wound up doing three separate U-turns. Needless to say, I was pretty frustrated and it wasn’t a good morning.  I got home and all I wanted to do was sleep, but once again, my body was like “hahaha no”.  I once again found a bunch of excuses as to why I wasn’t going to exercise today, and once again, I refused to let myself give up.  The sky was overcast but the temperature was nice and it wasn’t too windy (which is a small miracle where I live, because it’s almost always windy).  I couldn’t bail on my walk today with the conditions so perfect for once.  So I dragged my weary body off the couch and out the door.

Isn’t it funny how exercise should make you tired, but actually does the opposite?  By the time the walk was over, I was wide awake.  I guess the fresh air did me some good.  I felt pretty good, even towards the end, where I tend to slow down and convince my feet to keep going.  I think it helped it was overcast – I didn’t feel overheated and gross.

I got some good news later in the afternoon – after about 15 different interviews and a month and a half of frantically looking, I finally got offered a job!  Not one I’d ideally have chosen, and only on a casual basis, but after so many rejections it’s a step in the right direction.

I kept up my healthy eating for dinner, and I may even try a 7-minute workout later tonight if my energy levels don’t crap out on me (which there is a risk of happening).  I don’t know why I struggled so much with healthy eating before.  Granted, it takes some effort and planning, but it’s not difficult.  Other than fruit and a couple of naughty little after-dinner treats, I’ve pretty much cut out sugar.  I’m only drinking water and milk (six months ago, I’d drink diet coke with most meals).  I’ve completely cut out take away (six months ago I’d have it 3-4 times a week).  I think now I’m rejoining the work force I may find it all a little bit harder, but I think it will be okay.  I just have to be extra meticulous at planning ahead and I can’t let myself get lazy.  I think I can do it!

-JD

#loveme challenge – Day Six

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Day Six – “A Letter to Your Future Self”.

Hi me!
Well, it’s your thirtieth birthday.  Congratulations, you didn’t die!  That’s definitely a plus!  I’ll be honest, 30 sounds like so long away that it blows my mind.  It’s actually less than five years away.  Seems like only yesterday I was 20, so really, it isn’t that far off.  I guess you already know that though, huh?
There are so many uncertainties in my life right now.  Where have you wound up?  Are you enjoying your work?  Have you met anyone?  Are kids on the horizon?  I hope so.  I know right now kids are something I envision in the future.  Is that still a dream for you?
Right now, as I said, things are pretty up in the air.  I’m going through one of the toughest times in my life so far, something I hope never to have to repeat again.  Do me a favour and have a look around.  You’re probably in your own house, your (hopefully) employed and maybe you’ve even got a partner.  No matter what else is happening, realize that you’ve got it good.  You have a tendency of letting yourself be dragged down by small things – don’t!  You have so much to be thankful for, so step back and smile.
How’s your weight going?  I hope the hard work I’m putting in now has worked, and lasted.  If it has, go us!  If it hasn’t, now is the time to try again.  It isn’t fun but we can’t be unhealthy forever.
Did you wind up going back to uni?  I know I’m considering it right now.  I don’t know what to study, but it’s on my mind.  Tell me, did I (finally) chose to study something worthwhile?  Something that lead to a career you love?  If it didn’t, it’s not too late to find something you do!  I know 30 may seem too old to change, and you’re probably comfortable in the job you’re in, but you’ve made that mistake once before.  Don’t let it happen again!  Break the cycle!
How’s the dog going?  I hope she’s still happy, healthy and playful.  She’s helped you get through a lot, so give her an extra hug.  She deserves it!
Most of all, never forget the struggles you’ve gone through and the people who helped you through them.  This has all shaped you into who you are.  If you haven’t spoken to these people in awhile, grab the phone and do it.  I’m sure they’ll be happy you did!
Love from 2015,
Me!

Time to Change – Day Eight

Today was hard.  I don’t know why specifically.  I just felt extremely unmotivated.  All I wanted was a pizza and to sleep on the couch.  Honestly, I was close to doing just that.  Previously, I most likely would have.  I decided I wasn’t going to fall into that trap again though.  I’ve come this far, and this will no doubt be the first of many “low days”, and I had to find a way to get through them.  It was time to dig deep and find the self-control and self-motivation that, up until a week ago, I didn’t have much of.

I ate an okay breakfast (although I traded vegemite for honey) and a high protein lunch and dinner.  I also made sure I went on my daily walk, even though I really wanted to bail on it.  I even went so far as to say “it’s Sunday, I can rest today”.  While having a rest day wouldn’t hurt, I knew if I started giving into my pathetic excuses, it would snowball as always.  Plus, my dog was giving me her puppy eyes and I couldn’t tell her that I couldn’t be bothered.

The walk seemed tougher than usual too.  I think it was because it was quite a warm day and I was already feeling pretty flat.  The reason why I like walks so much (apart from the fact they make my doggy happy and I get a tan at the same time) is that once you start, you have to keep going no matter what, or you’ll be stranded.  It’s easy to throw in the towel with exercise equipment because you haven’t actually gone anywhere.  If you’re on a walk, it’s either keep going or sit on the side of the road until you decide to keep going.  It means I’m not risking my self-motivation giving out, and it usually does.  I know for a fact it would have today.

I hope tomorrow is a little easier.  Even if it isn’t, I got through today and I’m sure I can do it again tomorrow.  It will all be worth it soon enough!

-JD

#loveme challenge – Day Five

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Day Five – “A Note to Your Past Self”.

Hmmm.  This is vague.  Interesting, but vague.  Who do I write to?  My five-year-old self that was obsessed with Barbies and the colour orange?  My nine-year-old self who was absolutely convinced she’d become an artist when she grew up?  My twelve-year-old self, in the cusp of puberty and extremely embarrassed by it all?  So many options.

Dear my sixteen-year-old self.
Hi.  I know it’s hard to believe I’m writing to you from the future.  I’m 25 now.  Seems crazy right?  25, the time you assumed that you’d have it all together.  Well, unfortunately you don’t.  No partner, no job, renting (don’t be mad, I know you swore you’d never get stuck the rent trap but you also know how badly you needed to move out of the parentals place.  Trust me, this isn’t so bad), still not sure what you want to do with your life.  But you know what?  A lot of 25-year-olds are in the same situation.  It’s scary, but it’s not so bad.  I know to you, 25 seems so far away, but it isn’t.  It’ll come faster than you think.
I know right now you’re going through some stuff.  You feel alone.  You aren’t.  Sixteen is a tough year for most people.  Don’t let it get you down.  Enjoy yourself.  I know the teachers at school are all about you “knuckling down” and suggesting you “think about your future”.  I know the tests are getting harder, the lessons are getting more serious.  Don’t worry about it.  Just do your best, but don’t let it wear you down.  There’s more important things than the result of some quiz.  Go out more with your friends.  Spend more time with your dogs.  Buy stupid things.  Quit that awful job.  Don’t let yourself get stressed out and depressed.  Everything will work out.
That boy you think you’re in love with…let him go.  He’s not right for you and not interested in you.  You pretending to enjoy sport isn’t going to get you anywhere.  Don’t let him hurt you, you’re worth more than that.  It’s okay to be alone, even if the whole world seems to believe otherwise.
It’s okay to be emo.  It’s okay to enjoy it.  If it makes you happy, just do it.  It won’t last forever.  At 25, you can’t do stuff like that any more.  Enjoy these phases while you can, it’ll make for more interesting stories later on.
Don’t listen to your mum or anyone else who says you’re fat.  You aren’t.  You may not be the skinniest person in your year level but you are not overweight.  Don’t throw in the towel and think it’s okay to eat bad food all the time.  It will catch up with you!
The most important piece of advise I’ve got – more important than anything else I’ve mentioned – is to be yourself.  I know at 16, it’s all about peer pressure and fitting in, but almost all the people you associate with now, you won’t remain friends with in a few years.  Hard to believe, I know, but it’s true.  People grow up, go separate ways, don’t have time to organise catch ups.  Don’t worry what they think.  Don’t pretend you enjoy things that you don’t, don’t spend time with people you dislike.  It’s okay to go against the crowd sometimes, but it’s also perfectly fine to go with it (which I know you struggle with).  Sometimes, the crowd is right.  You don’t have to constantly be at war with “the man”.  Pick your fights.
Anyway, hope school isn’t too tough for you today!  Chin up soldier!

-JD

Harry Potter and the Muggle who Refused to Buy Into It (and Why She Regrets It)

So, Harry Potter has been famous for what feels like forever.  I remember vividly when I was first introduced to it, a few years prior to it becoming famous.  I was in primary school, maybe Grade 4.  We had one of those Book Fairs happening, and mum agreed to let me buy one book.  Do schools still do Book Fairs?  They should.  They were awesome.  Though I guess we didn’t have iPads back then, so maybe they aren’t cool any more.  Whatever, it was after school and I was in the library, looking at all the newly-erected temporary book stands filled with the latest children’s book titles.  One of the covers caught my eye, one with a blue flying car and two kids hanging out the window.  The librarian, Mrs Bourke, came over and said that she’d recommend the series, but that I was holding the second book and should probably start with the first.  In this case, I literally judged the book by it’s cover and decided against her suggestion, intrigued more by the flying car than the train.

I got home and started to read it.  Big surprise though, I couldn’t follow what was going on.  I tried multiple times over the next year to get into it, but would inevitably give up after the first few chapters.

The book sat on my shelf for two years.  Then – out of nowhere – everyone was talking about the series.  Literally overnight, it went from nobody talking about books to it being the latest thing.  I didn’t get it.  I couldn’t understand why everyone liked it.  I couldn’t get into it at all, and at that stage, I was an avid reader.  I’d demolish book after book.  It wasn’t like me to give up on them.  So I was really confused about the whole overnight phenomenon.

I’m not sure exactly how it happened, but within the next couple of months, I managed to get my hands on the first book that I’d turned my nose up at years before.  I started to read it, and suddenly everything made sense.  I read the first and second book within a couple of weeks.  I really liked it, and was glad I could finally enjoy the book that I’d attempted so many times.

It took awhile for me to get my hands on the third book as there was a giant waiting list at the library for it (it’s hard to believe that was even a thing, much less that it seemed perfectly normal at the time!).  I think I was at least halfway through grade 6 before I read it, and again, really liked it.  I remember that, even at that young age, I was perplexed that the hype for the series was still going strong.  I assumed (incorrectly) that it would fizzle out like most things did.  Every kid who enjoyed reading (which was a lot back then) was hanging out for the next installment.

The next book came out and by then, my sister had also gotten into the series so mum decided it was okay to buy it instead of waiting a ridiculously long time for a copy to free up at the library.  Despite being the longest book of the series (and the longest book I’d ever read at the time) I chewed through it.

As this book was coming out, so too was the movie.  The hype for the series grew exponentially, which seemed unfathomable as it was already so high as it was.  I didn’t see the film in the cinema, but my sister bought the VHS when it came out and I watched it there.  I was disappointed – I wasn’t used to seeing films based off books and I felt it was missing a lot.  I was young and couldn’t comprehend the reasons why they’d leave stuff out.

As the second film was about to come out a year or so later, the hype became overwhelming.  You couldn’t go anywhere without seeing posters or merchandise or people talking excitedly about it.  People on the TV and radio would talk about it, kids at school couldn’t stop guessing what it would be like.

That’s when I decided I’d had enough.

This was my very first taste of going against the crowd.  I was sick of hearing about the boy wizard, sick of seeing Daniel Radcliffe’s face everywhere and mostly, sick of people expecting me to be obsessed with it.  Granted, I did enjoy the books that I’d read, and the movie wasn’t bad (if lacking), but I felt like I had to fight the world.  Part of me was a little sad, but I refused to acknowledge it.  I didn’t want to be like everybody else.

My sister didn’t share my views, and ate up all the HP goodness she could.  She’d buy the books as they came out, see the newest movies in the cinema, even write fanfiction in her free time.  We were polar opposites (which is hardly anything new).

I fought the fight for over a decade.  I didn’t read any more of the books, didn’t see any more of the movies, refused to partake in discussions about any of it.  I told people I didn’t like the series, when actually it was the hype I didn’t like.  The more films that came out, the bigger the hype.  When the last book came out, I still remember the news reports with kids who lined up for hours to get their copy.  When they got it they hugged it and bawled their eyes out.  They’d stay up all night reading it to try to be the first in the world to finish it.  I watched the report, rolling my eyes and scoffing.  What was wrong with these kids?  It’s just a book.

Last month, I decided after all these years, to listen to that sad little voice that had been within me this whole time, who kept saying “you’re allowed to like the series along with everyone else!  Please don’t stop reading!  You want to know what happens!”.  I read the books as avidly as I had the first time.  It had been so long since I’d read them that a lot of the stuff that happened was actually surprising, which was pretty cool.  It was like I got a second chance to read it for the first time.  I managed to read all 7 books within a month, and it was only then, as I finished the last one, that I wish I’d read it along with the rest of the world.  Suddenly, I understood the hysteria.  I was sad – really, really sad – that I’d come to the end of Harry’s story.  I completely understood why people wrote fanfiction, why others were obsessed with the Pottermore site, why people would hold Harry Potter themed parties.  The series was magical, in every sense of the world.  Reading it so late, though, meant I’d missed my chance to talk to others about it.  The hysteria finally subsided, and I wasn’t going to be the one to desperately try to bring it back.

All I could do to try to keep the series going was watch all the movies, and I enjoyed them (moreso than I had when I was 12) but it wasn’t the same.  I expected them to leave a lot out and change things, which they did, and I just couldn’t get the same feeling back I’d had while reading the books.  I had to accept it, I’d have to move on with my life.  It seriously felt like a weird kind of mourning.  Partly it was a mourning because I could never read the books again not knowing what was coming next…and partly because I’d missed out on going through the excitement when I was younger.  That ship had sailed and there was nothing I could do to bring either thing back.

I’d finally learnt a valuable lesson, a decade too late – always be yourself and don’t let anyone influence your decisions.  If I hadn’t let the hype get to me, and if I had of listened to that little voice, I’d have enjoyed the ride with everyone else.  Instead, I’m left to enjoy it alone…and that’s no fun!  Better late than never though, I suppose.

-JD

Time to Change – Day Seven

Well, it’s officially been a whole week.  I’ve surprised myself with how disciplined I’ve been.  That’s always been an issue of mine – I have no self control.  That’s not just with food either, I also burn through money given half the chance.  The amount of stuff (aka crap) I’ve bought off CatchOfTheDay over the past three years is unbelievable.  I’ve also never been very self-motivated away from work.  At work I could motivate myself to do almost anything (even waking up at 5.30am to go in and do stocktake once a month), but the second I got home, all that went out the window.  I had no motivation to cook a proper meal (hence the take away I’d get on a very regular basis) and no motivation (or energy) to exercise.  I will admit, when I eventually land another job, I’m worried I’ll fall into the same trap, but I’ll cross that bridge when it comes.  For right now, I’m sticking with this lifestyle change.

I guess the best moment I’ve had this week is checking how I tracked overall in MyFitnessPal and seeing this.


Look at that! Almost bang on target!  My calorie intake never strayed more than a couple of hundred over either, and for the most part also stayed right on the app’s recommendation.  I’m so proud of this in particular because previously when I’ve counted calories, it was always next to no protein and hugely over in carbs.  I’ve really made an effort to plan my meals and make sure I’m eating the right kinds of food and the right portions.  Like a lot of people, I really struggle with potion control, and even now I’m still adjusting to it but I think it’s getting better.

I’ve also made it a goal to get at least 30 minutes of exercise in a day.  For the most part I’ve been hitting 40 minutes, with the exception of two days where I only managed 20, but they were harder workouts.  I’ve found my Apple watch incredibly helpful with all this, as the fitness tracker in it works beautifully.  It monitors step count, calories burnt, time exercised, heart rate and distance.  I’m averaging over 3kms each day in exercise, which I know isn’t record breaking, but considering just a week ago I was lucky to make 1000 steps each day, it’s definitely an improvement.

Unfortunately the scales still aren’t being too friendly, and I’ve only lost about half a kilo, which is still better than nothing but given my weight has always fluctuated by 2 or 3kgs isn’t great.  I’m not going to let that bring me down though.  Even if the weigh only comes off slowly, it’s better than not coming off at all, and I know I’m going to feel better for the diet change and exercise anyway.

Bring on week two!

-JD

#loveme challenge – Day Four


Day Four – “A Person who Loves You”.

This is an interesting one because normally, you’d expect it to be “a person you love”, which is easy.  There are a few people I could go with, but I think the most suitable option is the person who got me into blogging, and who is probably my oldest friend.

CJ is someone I’ve known since…well, pretty much forever. Our families grew up together and we’d hang out together as kids. I remember way back in the day we went on a nature hike somewhere (back then it felt like it was hours away, though I have a sneaking suspicion it probably wasn’t) and another time, we all went bike riding then had a barbecue afterwards.
Despite all that, it wasn’t until about 2009 we actually started hanging out away from “family gatherings”.


Since then, we’ve worked on films together, roadtripped together, travelled together and – up until very recently – worked together.  She’s the closest thing to a big sister I’ve ever had and although we’re been through some rough patches (especially recently) we’ve always forgiven each other and not let it get us down.

I guess the point of today’s challenge isn’t walking down memory lane, though.  Given it’s “a person who loves you” and this whole challenge us about being positive, I think I’m supposed to explain how I know she loves me.

I guess it comes down to one thing – she’s always there for me.  She’s helped me through so many rough patches in these past six years, she’s there to celebrate wins and commiserate losses.  She’s my voice of reason when I’m gonna do something dumb.  Even in the moments I took her for granted or let my emotions get in the way of my common sense, she’s stuck by me.  She knows that even if I fuck up, that it wasn’t my intention, and she’s there to help me through it.  Just like any sisters, there are things we do that drive the other insane, but we see through it and gently remind them to knock it off.

I honestly couldn’t imagine my life without her, and it makes me sad that I won’t see her as much now we aren’t colleagues any more, but I know she’s always just a phone call away 😊

– JD

PS, check out her blog.

#loveme challenge – Day Three

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Day Three – “A Word that Describes You”.

Hmmm.  I initially wanted to go with stubborn, but given that this is supposed to be a positive exercise and my stubbornness has often gotten me in trouble I’m going to go with a different word instead.

Loyal.

I’m fiercely loyal.  I stand by the people I care about through thick and thin.  I’m that person who checks up on you twenty-five times after you’ve gone through something bad, just to make sure you aren’t putting on a front or things haven’t suddenly gone downhill.  I’m the person who will defend you in your absence, even if it gets me in more trouble.  I’m not afraid to let you know I care.  It’s common for me to send random texts or even handwrite letters detailing my thoughts about how much I care.  Some people don’t know how to take it, but I’d rather make someone a little uncomfortable than for something to happen to me and them never know how I felt.  I think this is important – for me especially – because I’m not the touchy-feely type, and I feel like people think because of that I’m cold and indifferent to them, which isn’t correct at all.

On the flip side, if you wrong me or stab me in the back (which has happened more often than I’d like to admit in the past twelve months), I will never trust you, and never defend you.  I don’t have time for people like that.  I’m a very trusting person by nature, and it really hurts when you haven’t done anything to someone (well, nothing you’re aware of) and out of the blue, they basically give the middle finger to your friendship.  From my experience, it’s because if they do that, they gain some advantage – in their career, in other friendships.  I don’t care what the advantage is, backstabbing a friend is unforgivable.  I guess I find it so heinous because of my loyalty, and because I’d never even consider doing that.  If someone has done something to offend or upset me, I want to talk it out, or ignore it for a little while until the hurt passes, then go back to normal.  I would never throw someone under a bus out of anger or for gain.  I couldn’t sleep at night if I did.

Anyway, that’s why I picked loyalty.  It’s a trait of mine I hold above pretty much anything else, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

-JD