Time to Change – Day Forty-Two

Wow, it’s been a whole week since I blogged about my life.  I knew it’d been awhile but I didn’t realize it’d been that long.

Another weekend is here and again, I’m so grateful for it.  I really thought by now that I’d have started to readjust to full time work…I mean, I’d been doing it for four years prior to losing my job, and there was only a relatively short period of time in between that job and this.  It’s been three weeks and I still get home every night absolutely exhausted.  By the time the weekend finally arrives I wind up sleeping half the day.  I initially assumed it was just because I was in learning mode all day and it was taking its toll, but each day I’m getting more competient and independent so I don’t think I can really blame that any more.  I know it’s only going to get worse before it gets better as pretty soon I’m gonna have to start my public transport daily commute, which not only takes longer but is also more stressful and requires more exercise.  The last part is good, don’t get me wrong, but will definitely deplete my energy levels more.

Anyway, it’s been a pretty good week overall.  Much of the same of what I’ve been doing, but with more confidence this time around.  So much so the guys trust me to help teach the other trainees (who have all been there longer than me).  Lucky they didn’t take offence to that, because I probably would have if the roles had been switched.

I had my first aggro customer since starting there yesterday.  It’s weird, at my old job as part of management I’d serve heaps of aggros and it was fine.  I mean, not my favourite part of the job but I could do it.  At my new job though I just couldn’t.  She wasn’t even yelling, she was just really rude.  I’d made the mistake, I guess that was part of it (I’d have never made a mistake like that at my old job, but the systems were much different there).  I was really taken aback by the whole thing.  I guess I’ve always had an issue with rude people to a certain point, even at my old job.  There’s just something worse about it than yelling or swearing.  I think it also came down to not having the confidence yet to believe what I’m saying.  It didn’t help they were questioning everything I was doing which made me doubt myself.  It was a stupid mistake I made, but in the whole big scheme of mistakes I could have made in this job, it was probably the least damaging possible.  She didn’t see it like that though and I had to ask one of the other girls to help out.  I just couldn’t deal with it.  I suppose that’s what they wanted though – the second I said I was training they kept hounding me for stupid requests and questioning everything.  They basically didn’t want to ask for someone else (heaven forbid that might come across as rude) but they wanted me to feel obliged to get someone else.  Why are people so horrible?  I don’t know.  Either way I ended my working week feeling frazzled and horrible.  At least I learnt something out of it – double check everything, even if it seems simple!

My diet was very up and down.  I’d eat a pretty good breakfast most mornings (strawberries and blueberries with no fat vanilla yoghurt and Chia and quinoa), then back it up with fruit for lunch.  I just couldn’t see it through to dinner most nights and would wind up eating something really bad.  It all comes down to how exhausted I’ve been…I just don’t have the energy to cook.  My friends have been telling me to get onto Lite N Easy.  I’ve been putting it off because it’s expensive, but I think I might have to bite the bullet and go onto it, just for dinners.  I’m not losing any weight at all at the moment and it’s because I’m sabotaging myself at night.  Plus if I don’t have the energy to cook now, I definitely won’t in a couple of weeks.

What else is new this week?  I upgraded to the iPhone 6s Plus.  I already had the 6 Plus but I wanted to move my number over so I could get my staff discount.  I’d been waiting for it to come in stock and it finally did on Thursday.  There isn’t heaps of differences (as expected) though I have noticed it’s a lot quicker to unlock with fingerprint unlock, and the camera is a lot better.  3D Touch is pretty cool too, though I haven’t found a lot of use for it yet.  It’ll no doubt be better once more apps support it.  The best new feature of the phone though is the colour – rose gold is so pretty 💜

As part of my upgrade I also got a Sonos Play:1 WiFi speaker.  I haven’t had a lot of time to put it through its paces but so far it seems pretty awesome.  The set up was a bit of a pain.  It needed to be connected to the modem via an Ethernet cable, and my modem is plugged in up high in my wardrobe.  The speaker isn’t light so holding it awkwardly while trying to follow all the instructions was tough.  Plus the instructions were vague at times so it took longer than it should have.  Still, I got there in the end and it’s got decent sound quality for a semi-small speaker.  My other annoyance is that it doesn’t support Apple Music (apparently it will by the end of the year but we’ll see) so it can only play the songs physically stored on my phone, or songs through other paid streaming services.  A year ago it would have been fine because I used Spotify back then, but I made the switch to Apple Music and I’m not too keen to have to go back to Spotify just for the speaker.  I guess I’ll just have to ride it out.

This week is going to be interesting.  I’m in store again Monday, then it’s a public holiday Tuesday (yay extra sleep!), then I have 3 days of training (another round of it), then I’m working my first Saturday shift in store, which is going to be mental.  At least the day will go by quickly.  I guess I should get used to crazy though, my new store is probably going to be like that all the time.

I don’t think I have any more updates to add.  I really need to find time to write more often!  Hope everyone had a good week 😊

-JD

Time to Change – Day Thirty-Five

I can’t remember a time where I’ve appreciated a weekend more.  At least, not in the past year or so.  I can’t believe how tired work makes me.  I guess it’s just trying to learn so many new things at once (coupled by the way the shop heats up so by the end of the shift I feel sweaty and sticky and horrible) but it still surprises me how draining it is after doing a similar job for so long.

Yesterday was another good day.  Aside from maybe an hour, I worked independently and fairly confidently.  Everyone is super friendly there and are all really easy to talk to and ask questions, which is really helping.  I wound up putting through two contracts and had three add-ons for the day.  The add-ons I’m especially proud of as I feel confident in selling them and processing them now, which I’m happy about as I feel like without knowing that, I’m dragging the store down with the contracts I was doing.  Plus, I feel like it’s another big thing I can tick off my ‘Need to Learn’ checklist.

I was practically running for the exit at the end of my shift.  I was so pumped to be heading home for a relaxing couple of days.  I had a long sleep in this morning, then went out to lunch with my best friend.  It was nice to catch up, and I got some extra steps in walking around the shopping centre.  I came home, tried to tackle my overflowing TV shows that had been piling up all week, then had a long soak in the tub.

I also decided to bite the bullet and update my Facebook details to reflect my new job.  I know this may sound mundane and not worth mentioning, but it was a big deal for me.  Initially I wasn’t going to change it until after my probation (that’s still my plan for LinkedIn) but the original reason for me not updating it is so the people who threw me under the bus at my last job didn’t know where I was working.  Well, that lasted a whole 3 days now that I’m working two shops away.  Plus, I don’t have any of them on Facebook anyway and my profile is set to “Friends Only” for everything.  On top of all that, in the week I’d been working in store, I’d had quite a few people spot me and come in and say hi.  I figured it was about time everyone was let in on the change so I didn’t have to tell them individually.  I just hope updating it doesn’t lead to issues down the line (my new job doesn’t know I got fired), but I’m 95% it’ll be fine.  I deleted anyone who I thought might be an issue prior to doing it.  I feel better for updating it, as it felt weird having my profile still saying I worked at my old work after how it all ended.  I didn’t really want to be associated with that place any more.  I’m trying very hard to close that chapter and this is another step towards it.  Plus, now I’m slowly adding people from my new job, I was worried it would be confusing to them if it isn’t accurate.  Can you tell I’m an overthinker?

Tomorrow is housework, a walk and grocery shopping…after another long sleep in, that is.  I can’t seem to even make a dent in my sleep debt but I’m going to give it a good crack!

After I go grocery shopping I’m going to get back on my healthy eating plan.  It’s been a terrible week with what I’ve eaten and how little I’ve been exercising and I need to get my focus back.  I refuse to fall off the wagon completely.  This is just a bump in the road.  I need to keep it up so that in the future, I don’t have to look back and wish I did.

IMG_0794

-JD

Time to Change – Day Thirty-Three

I’ve had another busy couple of days.  It seriously feels like I’m making up for all my laziness over the past few months in one big hit.  I’m enjoying it but it’s exhausting and a little overwhelming.  I’m trying to adjust but I’m struggling and I can’t wait for the weekend so I can relax.

Yesterday I started doing most things alone at work.  I decided anything I didn’t know I’d just try, and if I got stuck I’d ask questions.  I know that makes some of the other staff a bit nervous but it’s the best way for me to learn – I struggle to focus when other people do it and I have to watch, and most of the staff don’t explain what they’re doing or slow down for me to learn properly.  I don’t blame them – I’m sure when I was teaching new kids at my old job, I did the same thing.  I think I did well, considering.  It’s tough though.  I feel pressured to do things fast as I don’t like to make customers wait and get annoyed they’re stuck with the trainee, but the systems are a lot more complicated than my old job and going fast sometimes just isn’t an option.

After work I had to go to training in the city.  I’d only found out about this 24 hours before and I was in two minds about going at all.  It was basic training on one of the products I’d been selling at my old job for years.  I didn’t think I’d learn very much, and I dreaded the idea of having to go to it after a full day of work.  I decided I’d probably better go.  I was worried if I didn’t go I’d look bad, and I don’t want that if I’m aiming to get promoted sometime in the future.  The training was long, dry and boring, as I was expecting.  It didn’t finish until after 8pm and by the time I got home, it was after 9.  I picked up some pizza on the way home, throwing my diet further off track, but there was no way I was cooking that late…especially when I had work at 9am the following day.

Needless to say, it was a struggle to get out of bed this morning.  It doesn’t matter how much I’m enjoying work, I don’t do well on little sleep.  I’d had weird dreams all night, which also didn’t help my mood.  I headed in, feeling fairly average instead of my usual excited self.  Luckily, my day actually turned out quite good.  I ran into a couple of people from my old work who I’m still on good terms with, and they were really interested in what I’m doing now and happy to see me, which was really nice as I’m used to getting the cold shoulder from a lot of the people still there.  Then I had lunch with another friend from my old work who isn’t there any more either.  It was great to see him again.  I also got to have a good talk today with my (temporary) manager about how I’m progressing at work and hear his suggestions on how to learn more.  He was impressed with what I was already capable of doing by myself, and is really keen to get me filling in the learning gaps quickly, which is great because that was what I was hoping he’d say.

On the way home I stopped off at the automatic carwash, after procrastinating about it for months.  I don’t care what anyone says, these things are the best.  $10 and the car goes in filthy and comes out clean, and you get a cool show while it’s happening.  I wish there was one closer to me…I guess maybe there is, but I haven’t seen it.  I should probably take the time to find one, as I won’t be working in that area very much longer so it won’t be my local one any more.  End of an era 😦

My foot is starting to feel a bit better, finally.  I still haven’t gotten back into my walks as it’s only just started coming good and I’m still worried I’ll do damage by pushing it.  Hopefully by the weekend I’ll have a bit more confidence in it.  My weight is back up a little but there’s no surprise there, with my diet and no exercise.  I really need to get back into it, and will.  I’m slowly starting to adjust to my working life, so by next week I should be right back into it.

One more day and I’ll be in relaxation mode!  That’s the only thought that’s going to get me through tomorrow!

-JD

Time to Change – Day Twenty-Seven

Today was one of the best days I’ve had in a long time.  I know, it’s basically the opposite of what I predicted yesterday.  It was my first actual not-induction-or-computer-based-training day, at a place I didn’t think I ever wanted to go back to after how I was dismissed from my last job there.

I left the house early, expecting school traffic like there almost always is.  I guess I left early enough to miss it, because I got a really smooth run.  Usually that would be fine but I arrived half an hour early and I didn’t want to hang around near my old work.  I also didn’t want to seem too eager at my new job…half an hour is overkill in anyone’s books.  So I just sat in my car until it was time to go in.  I was pretty nervous – more nervous than I was before my interview, my first day at induction and waiting to get my needle – as I didn’t know what it would be like if I came face-to-face with some of my ex-colleagues.  Plus, I was also a little worried about having to meet so many new people all at once…it’s pretty much an introvert’s nightmare.

As I headed in, I gave myself a strong talking to.  I wasn’t going to let bitches from my past bring me down.  Instead of going the long way and avoiding the old store like I was tempted to do, I steeled myself and walked straight past.  I didn’t see anyone, so for the moment it was all good.  I headed into my new store and into a room full of people, most of whom didn’t know I was coming.  After doing a round of introductions, I was already feeling a lot better.  Everyone seemed really nice and the manager was cool.  We discussed my telco history and what I’d been up to in induction.  Then I buddied up with one of the guys and the day had officially started.

It went really well.  I basically bounced between staff (and there were a lot on!) and watched what they were doing.  Honestly, I would have preferred to be putting it through myself, but even watching I began to notice patterns and similarities to the programs I used in my last job.  Everyone was so friendly and were all eager for a chat and to see what they could help me with.  By mid-afternoon the manager checked in again and I told him that I feel very comfortable already and I could probably start processing stuff.  He was pretty happy to let me do my own thing.  I’m so glad I’ve landed in a store with a manager like that.  I was dreading getting someone who wanted to stay by the book or who believed trainees shouldn’t serve customers.  I made it clear from the start I wasn’t your regular run-of-the-mill newbie, but I still wasn’t sure how it would go.

The best parts of the day were when the delivery guys and phone reps came into store and their faces lit up when they saw me.  I’d been in that shopping centre for a long, long time and I’d gotten to know these people well, along with all the security guards.  They seemed like they’d genuinely missed seeing me, and I know I was happy to see their faces again.  I laughed every time each one first saw me, as a look of confusion crossed them every time, like “wait, did I walk into the right store?”.  I didn’t get to see my favourite delivery guy, though I’m sure in the month I’m working in the centre, I’ll cross paths with him.  I was always a little sad about how abruptly my employment ended at my old job, because it meant I didn’t get to say any goodbyes to these guys.  I know it probably sounds weird, but after seeing them multiple times a week for years, we got to know each other fairly well.  I wouldn’t go so far as to say we were friends or anything, but we certainly had rapport and inside jokes.

Once 5 o’clock hit, I headed home.  I intentionally walked past my old work with my uniform and lanyard on.  I didn’t look in, but I wasn’t going to hide or sneak past either.  If they saw, they saw.  I’m not letting horrible people from my past control my life now.  If they want to bitch or gossip or whatever, it doesn’t make any difference to me.  They aren’t part of my life any more and karma is fast on it’s way, I’m sure.

I was feeling great when I got home, and decided to go for my walk.  I’d gotten home a lot earlier now I was driving instead of catching public transport, and the weather wasn’t humid (thankfully!) so I headed out.  I got just before halfway through my usual walk when I had to turn around and head home.  My ankle (which has been sore for over a week) was getting worse.  I could practically feel it swelling up.  I should have worn my brace but it’s quite chunky and hard to fit into shoes.  I hobbled home, really annoyed that for the first time in awhile I actually wanted to exercise, and now I was cutting it short.  I iced it and put my brace back on and it’s feeling a little better again.  I was planning on exercising both days this weekend and I still want to, but I don’t know if it’s a good idea.  I can’t afford to hurt it any more, as my new job requires me to be on my feet all day.  Why does my body fall apart when I need to it stay together the most?

Tomorrow I’m going to get my nails redone (I’m thinking purple this time) and then I’m catching up with some friends I haven’t seen in way too long.  Should be a good day!  I can’t wait until next week to get back to work.  I haven’t felt this motivated for a very long time.  I think my luck is finally starting to change.  My ears have even stopped hurting almost completely – today is the first day I haven’t had to take painkillers.  Such a relief!

-JD

Time to Change – Day Twenty-Six

Today was a tough day.  I woke up knowing it wouldn’t be a barrel of laughs, but it was definitely worse than I anticipated.  It started out much the same as every other day this week – getting ready quickly, walking to the bus stop, commuting by bus and train to the city.  We were in a different place today and I am extremely directionally challenged.  I managed to get thoroughly lost despite following Google Maps in my hand, messaging one of the guys I was meeting asking where it was and only being about 300 metres away.  How do I manage it?  Talent.

Anyway, so that kind of threw off my day even more.  I hate getting lost.  It’s stressful and frustrating and seems to always happen when you really don’t need it to.  Once I finally got there, we went in and started the day.  We registered ourselves onto different internal websites, then spent hours doing compliance modules.  For anyone who’s ever had to endure them, you’ll understand my pain.  It was horrendous.  Thankfully, I’d had plenty of experience in my previous job with very similar trainings so I smashed through them and finished first.  Even finishing first, I still spent a good chunk of my day on it.  Once that was done we worked out rosters and where we’ll be placed to train for the next month.  Wouldn’t you know it, I got landed two shops down from where I used to work?

Fan-fucking-tastic.

Of all the shops in all the state you have to put me there.  Next to a store full of people who hate me.  Next to people I wouldn’t trust again in pink fit.  Part of me wants to walk past them all and wave and act like this was part of my game plan (a rather large part, actually).  Another part wants to park as far away from possible, sneak into the store, hide from the front of it as much as possible and not leave it until home time so they won’t see me.  Still not sure which route will actually happen.  I think it’s unrealistic to think I’ll be able to avoid all of them for a whole month…especially because I need my pants altered and that shop is right outside my old work.  Yep, I think plan A is what will happen.

Anyway, so after finding that out we needed to try on uniforms.  Something I’d been dreading.  Please be big sizes, I thought.  I hate hate hate working out uniform sizes so much.  It was every bit humiliating and embarrassing as I thought it would be.  I tell them size 20, they look at me and say “no way, you’re not a 20, you’re like a 14”.  Um, I haven’t been a 14 since high school.  Try on an 18, too small.  No size 20s.  Try on a 22, and it fits.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

They don’t have any shirts in stock to fit me, even in guy sizes.  Great.  I’m the only one without a shirt now while they order it in.  Fuck.  I have a cardy but it looks horrible buttoned up.  Yep, this was a feel good exercise alright.

By the time it let out, my head was hurting, my ankle was killing me (it’d been getting progressively worse for a week) and to add to it all, it was so humid and disgusting that I was sweating by the time I’d gotten the train station.  I tried touching on with my Myki, but it wasn’t working.  I tried again and again.  Nothing.  I was holding people up.  It just wasn’t working.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

I took so long I caught the eye of one of the wandering helpers, who managed to get it working.  Once I got into the station, I immediately knew something was wrong.  It was a madhouse, even by peak hour standards.  You couldn’t even move there were so many people.  I’m still not 100% sure but I think one of the trains was broken down or something so everyone decided to go to my platform and catch a different train.  Luckily it wasn’t my train, because they were packed in like sardines…moreso than usual.

When my train arrived I was forced to stand up, which wasn’t fun because my ankle was seriously giving me grief.  There wasn’t anything I could do about it but try to ignore it.  The train was packed and it was hot and unpleasant.  I grit my teeth and put up with it.  It was a relief to get off and jump onto the bus, even if that was packed as well.  At least I got a seat.

After limping home, I collapsed onto the couch, wanting to never move again.  Instead, I had a look at my ankle.  Definitely swollen.  So instead of relaxing like I so desperately wanted to, I got back up and hoped into the car and went and bought a brace for it.  I knew if I didn’t, I’d regret it.  I couldn’t avoid standing on it – it was part of my new job and I wasn’t going to be all “Sorry, can’t stand, my ankle hurts” – so at the very least I knew I had to give it some support.

Finally, I got home after an epically long day again.  I can’t remember the last time my days felt so packed and exhausting.  I, once again, ate like crap, and I feel bloated and gross.  Now that I’m back in my old stomping ground, I’m going to be able to plan my meals and stuff a bit better, and be home slightly earlier.  I think this will help a lot.  I’ll be able to find a routine again and hopefully I’ll be able to get a smaller uniform size sooner or later!

Hope your day was better than mine 🙂

-JD

Time to Change – Day Twenty-Three

So, today was my first day at my new job.  It was induction so nothing too scary.  I wasn’t really nervous at all.  I’ve found that happening a lot lately.  Things that should have me shaking in my boots don’t phase me at all any more.  Not sure whether it’s a sign of maturity or just me being more non-chelount.

That being said, I slept horribly last night.  I woke up what felt like continuously.  Very frustrating.  It was made worse by me knowing I needed sleep, and began a vicious cycle of stressing about not sleeping and therefore not being switched off enough to sleep.  Maybe subconsciously I was nervous?  I don’t know.

Anyway, the day started off pretty cruisy.  I didn’t start until 11.30, so I took my time getting ready.  I got on the bus at 9.30 and was in the city by 10.30.  It was as I was getting off the train I realized I’d gotten in an hour early instead of half an hour.  I’m still not sure how I managed that, because I checked half a dozen times prior to it that it started at 11.30.  Yet somehow, my brain automatically thought 11 when I was planning everything.  I decided I’d get a smoothie (I got a large but I don’t know why I did.  I always forget how much is in them.  I barely managed to get through half so it wound up being less than 200 calories in the end).  I wandered around for a bit but I hate the city and being in such a crowded place, so I quickly found a seat and waited it out.

The induction started okay.  I was one of two people who had worked in the industry previously, so most of what they went through was stuff that had already been drilled into me previously.  I guess that was lucky because the migraine I’d had on and off decided then was the perfect time to come back with a vengeance.  Luckily it was almost lunchtime by then.  I spent half the break in the toilet covering my eyes from the light and hoping nobody noticed how long the cubicle had been locked for.  I honestly would have sat there the whole break except I thought I’d probably better find some food.  The painkillers I’d taken had taken the edge off by then, so I headed to the closest place I could find.  Oportos.  Hmmm, not my first choice but it would do.  I ordered my all time favourite comfort food – hot chips – and took them back up to the classroom to eat, worried I was running out of time thanks to the guy taking ten minutes to get my order done. (Seriously, ten minutes for some fries!  It wasn’t even busy!  Are you freaking kidding me?).

I downed some more painkillers before the class started back, vowing I’d go to the doctors that night.  I don’t like having to take so many but it was either that or go home sick…and that just wasn’t an option on a first day.

I survived the rest of the day.  The migraine stayed at bay, though I could feel it trying to overpower the drugs.  I started to feel it again on the train home, but it wasn’t enough to concern me.  Once I started my walk home, I called the doctors who said they didn’t have any appointments tonight except for 10.40.  After the crappy night’s sleep last night there’s no way I was going to trek out at that time of night, so I made an appointment for tomorrow night instead.  I’m hoping it might clear up before then but it’s probably wishful thinking.

On the plus side, without going for my walk today, I clocked up over 7000 steps!  I usually average about 5000 including my walk so I was pretty happy about that.  Another plus was I officially start full time work as of today – as it was induction and the store I’ve been hired to work at isn’t opening until next month I wasn’t sure if there’d be a gap or not.  Turns out there isn’t!  Yay, time to be financially secure and independent again!

Anyway, I think that pretty much sums up my day.  I have a longer day tomorrow so I’m hoping I’m feeling better.  I feel like the doctor won’t have much else to say than “rest up” which isn’t going to happen right now.  Stupid body falling apart the second it’s called into action!

-JD

Time to Change – Day Twenty-Two

So, today is my last day of unemployment.  You think I’d be nervous, but I’m not.  I’m not really feeling much of anything.  I guess it’ll hit me tomorrow.  This is hopefully the start of my next journey.  I just hope I found it as enjoyable (and educational) as my last one.

I’d been feeling pretty under the weather from the migraine that had carried on from the previous day.  It’s a weird one too.  I’ve had my fair share of them but this one isn’t normal.  I woke up at 1am with the top of my jaw and ears hurting just as much as my head.  I took more painkillers and went back to sleep.  Woke up and my ears were really sore again, though my headache and jawache were basically gone.  My headache came back about 9am, so I took more painkillers.  It’s been okay most of the day, though my ears are both really sore again now, as are my eyes.  It’s really annoying because I can’t afford to get sick, and I’m worried it’s the beginning of ear infections.  The last time I had an ear infection was during a trip across Australia when I was about 14.  It was the worst pain of my life.  I was screaming and sobbing while my parents were frantically trying to find a doctor still open at 8pm in a foreign city.  I can’t afford to go through that again, particularly when I’m about to start a new job.  I’m just hoping it’ll fix itself and painkillers will do their job until that happens.

I went for my walk about lunchtime.  I wasn’t going to waste my last day off, although as always, I was tempted.  I got home and napped in the afternoon, hoping resting would ease my incoming illness.  I don’t know if it helped.  It doesn’t feel like it did.  I ate dinner late, as I just wasn’t hungry.  I knew I couldn’t go without though, so I eventually made myself something healthy and forced it down.  Skipping meals isn’t a good idea for weight loss or for keeping healthy.

Tomorrow will be a big day, I can feel it.  Meeting a whole bunch of new people, in a new place, in the city which is always congested.  I don’t see it being a fun experience for me, but I know it has to be done.  At least I feel like once I get this out of the way, I’ll enjoy the job much more than the one I was doing (temporarily).  I hate being the newbie and feeling out of my depth, but I know it has to happen, whether it’s with this job or another one.  Everyone has to go through it before they become one of the team.  I just need to suck it up and try to learn things as quickly as possible.

I think I’m gonna head to bed now.  My ears are really starting to ache.  I hope they don’t get much worse.  Now is not the time, body!

-JD