Courage

So, I’ve been nominated for the “Three Quote, Three Day” Challenge.  I’m not sure if that’s the actual name or whether it’s just gotten lost like Chinese whispers but anyway, you get the idea.  One quote a day for the next three days.  This has probably been my favourite nomination so far, mostly because my phone is stuffed full of quotes that I’ve screenshotted or saved.  Now I have to narrow it down to my top three!  It’s made harder because it depends what mood I’m in.  My favourites change constantly.

Before I get too lost trying to pick one, I want to thank the very talented The V-Pub for the nomination.  If you’ve got a spare couple of minutes, check out his blog.  It’s great!

Anyway, today’s quote I’m posting is this.

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There is a couple of reasons I chose to post this.  Firstly, I love that it’s so simple yet so true.  When we’re little, we’re told stories of superheroes battling baddies and saving the world, all without fear.  While that too is courage, it isn’t real.  Plus, if you had magic powers like that, you probably wouldn’t be too terrified.  So I guess it actually isn’t all that courageous at all.  No, the best kind of courage is when you’re stuck in a terrible situation/event/drama and all you really want to do is run away, or build a pillow fort and hide in it with a scribbled note in pink crayon stuck to the doorway “leave me alone!”.  Instead of doing that though, you get up out of bed, pull on your shoes and face the issue with a brave face and a strong mind.  You get through it.  You survive it.  It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t fun, or if it hurt, or if you wished it had never happened.  The fact that you got up and got through it is courage.  It’s admirable.  It’s brave.  To anyone who has done that today, or yesterday, or anytime – you rock!  And to anyone having to face it in the future – you can do it, I know you can.
The second reason I chose this was because it seems appropriate.  It’s the first quote I put on my Instagram account and the first quote I set as a “favourite” in my iPhone.  And now, it is the first quote posted in this challenge.

The second part of this challenge is to nominate 3 bloggers.  As I’ve seen one blogger just do three and leave it at that, and another do three per day, I’m not sure which is correct (again, Chinese whispers happening).  To make it seem more matchy-matchy, I’m gonna run with three per day.  I love giving shout outs to different blogs, so this works okay for me.

Today’s nominations are:
Solo Mama Life
I Am Just Audrey
Kaboodle Mum

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s quote!  (It’ll probably take me that long to chose the next one ;))

-JD

“The Word No is a Complete Sentence.”

This took me a long time to learn.  I guess I’m still learning it.  I think we’ve all been taught you can’t just say “no” with no explanation.  It’s rude.  It’s blunt.  Why?  You can’t say it without a reason.  Parents drum it into children.  “Why?” “Because.” “Because why?”.  Teachers demand explanations.  Bosses want answers.  All this is fine, and in some places and instances, you do need to supply an answer.  But sometimes you don’t.

If you don’t feel comfortable, if you don’t think it’s in your best interests, if you think you’re gonna get hurt, you can say no.  You don’t have to tell you friends or your partner why if you don’t want to.  You shouldn’t feel like every time you use that word you need to justify it with an answer.  What happens if the answer isn’t good enough?  Then you feel obliged to do whatever it is you don’t want to, or make more excuses.

You shouldn’t feel forced to do anything.  If people want to think you’re rude or a flake or a scaredy-cat, then let them.  No is a powerful word.  A very powerful word.  If you start to throw in reasons and excuses, it loses it’s power.  It allows people to twist it, change it, weaken it.  You don’t want to go home with that guy?  No.  You don’t want to drink tonight when you’re out?  No.  You don’t want to take that dead end job?  No.  You don’t want to let someone treat you poorly?  No.

It’s tough.  It really is.  I didn’t drink when all my teenage friends did.  Every time I turned down a drink, they wanted to know why.  They wanted to change my mind.  At first I gave excuses, but after years of coping it from people – including people saying “I’ll just slip some alcohol into your coke!” – it was easier to give no explanation at all.  Why is it anyone’s business but mine?  Why do I feel the need to justify my answer to anyone who’ll listen?

It’s time to break the habit.  It’s time to stop letting other people’s questions and opinions overrule your judgement.  It’s okay to use the “N Word”.  It’s okay to stand by it.

No.  No no no.

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This, and many more prompts, can be found here.

#loveme challenge – Day Sixteen

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Day 16 – Something You Like about Yourself

This is probably the hardest prompt I’ve had so far.  Although nothing immediately comes to mind (like a lot of females in this day and age probably), I guess I’m going to go with my inner strength.  Is that a strange answer?  Probably.  Honestly, it was a struggle to think of anything at all, which is kind of sad really.  I suppose that’s what this challenge is all about though!

Anyway, I chose my inner strength as I feel like over these past 5 years (especially this year) I have changed from a timid, shy person into someone who can deal with almost anything.  I’ve been dealt a lot of bad hands, met a lot of nasty people, made a lot of mistakes, lost family members and friends…and it’s all made me stronger.  I guess it all comes down to my mentality, and I’ve always been a believer in “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”…after this year, I’m proof of that.

I’ve had nights where I’ve shivered uncontrollably (to the point it probably would have almost looked like convolutions to outsiders), I’ve had days where I cried for hours, I’ve had moments of weakness where I’ve word-vomited my problems to a kind set of ears…but I always manage to pull myself together.  There’s always a strong voice shouting at me through the fog “okay, enough is enough, time to shake this off and get back to it”.  I don’t think anyone would blame me if I fell apart.  In fact, I’m sure some would expect it.  I haven’t though.  I’ve taken hit after hit and I’m doing okay.  I’m still standing.  I’m still fighting.  I’m refusing to let it all get to me.  I suppose part of the reason for that is if I do fall apart, I’m worried I won’t get back up.

Another reason though, is my amazing friends.  Being an introvert, I don’t have a lot of them, but the ones I do are so supportive and amazing.  I don’t have a particularly close relationship with any of my family, so without my friends I don’t think I’d be anywhere near as strong as I am.  Tying in with that, I’ve learnt in these past few years it’s okay to ask for help.  It’s okay to tell people you’re hurting or upset.  It’s okay to let people know you’re issues.  In fact, I’ve sort of come to rely on it.  Everyone knows my problems because I’m always looking for advise or a different outlook.  It’s part of my coping mechanism and while sometimes I wish I kept things to myself more, ultimately it helps me see things more clearly and to move forward with my life.

This was a tough post and it was a bit all over the place, but it’s the best I could do.  I’m trying to have more self-love and self-confidence but it’s a slow process.  I’m sure one day I’ll have a better response to this kind of question, but not today.