Time to Change – Day Eighteen

Today was one of my worse days.  I woke up and felt very unmotivated.  Mostly, it was the thought of starting my new job today, one that I didn’t really want to go to.  I knew I should go for my walk before I left, but it didn’t happen.  I told myself I’d go afterwards.

I arrive at the new job ten minutes early.  They were flat out merchandising the place so I stood around awkwardly, being more or less ignored for fifteen minutes.  Then, when they remembered I was there, I was told to read a generic introduction booklet.  It didn’t get much better from there.  I was told to move stock around in an attempt to re-merchandise but having limited experience and no knowledge of the products, it was a slow, frustrating process.  I was shown how to do end of day, and it is world’s apart from what I’m used to.  People used to complain about the processes at my old work…now, I’d have given anything to have it back.  This was so slow and backward.  Nothing seemed logical, the computer program seemed to have way too many over-complicated steps and half the close was spent re-writing stuff that the computer already figured out.  I don’t know, I know I shouldn’t judge so early, but I’m dreading going back tomorrow.  The most frustrating part of the whole thing was I got a call from the other job I’m waiting to hear back from but couldn’t answer it, and by the time we finally left (45 minutes later than I was rostered for, mind you), they’d already gone home for the day so now I have to wait for them to call back tomorrow…and I’ll probably be working again.  Urgh.  I just hope after all this that I get some good news from them.  I can’t wait to get out of this job.  The only good thing about it is the customers, who were all lovely.  If that was 80% of my job like I thought it would be, then maybe it would be okay.

This basically sums up all my interactions with customers.

Anyway, after that shitty first shift with my feet killing me and my stress levels well and truly off the charts, I sunk into a hot bath the second I got home, downing half a (small) block of my favourite chocolate for dinner.  Not an ideal part of my diet plan but hey, if chocolate can bring people round from a dementor attack, it can definitely make me feel better about losing control of my life!  At least, that was my excuse, and I’m sticking with it.  On the plus side, even with the chocolate, I finished under my calorie limit for the day, and my weight hasn’t gone up…hasn’t gone down either which is annoying but better than up!


Unfortunately I didn’t get my exercise in today.  In the end, after leaving work much later than anticipated, getting stuck is traffic and having to get petrol on the way home (stupid petrol light!), it was dusk as I was pulling into my drive.  Ah well.  I’m sure all the merchandising I did today and am set to do tomorrow will partly make up for it.  Maybe.

Hopefully I’ll have a happier post tomorrow and some good news on the job front.  So frustrated I missed the call.  I hate having to wait so long to know the outcome, especially when I can’t wait to get out of this job!  I really hope something good finally comes my way.  I don’t know how much more bad news I can take.  Fingers crossed!

-JD

Time to Change – Day Nine

Today wasn’t great.  It wasn’t as bad as yesterday though.  I slept horribly last night, I’m not sure why.  I was just restless and woke up heaps of times and struggled to get back to sleep.  Due to this, I was really tired all morning and felt very unmotivated.  I was hungry but couldn’t be bothered eating.  In the end, though, I gave myself a talking to and decided that – sleep or no sleep – I was going to get through today, just like I did yesterday.

I forced myself to eat a banana for breakfast, then went out on errands that I really didn’t want to go on, and that I’d been avoiding for awhile.  I got lost on the way there (completely normal for me) and wound up doing three separate U-turns. Needless to say, I was pretty frustrated and it wasn’t a good morning.  I got home and all I wanted to do was sleep, but once again, my body was like “hahaha no”.  I once again found a bunch of excuses as to why I wasn’t going to exercise today, and once again, I refused to let myself give up.  The sky was overcast but the temperature was nice and it wasn’t too windy (which is a small miracle where I live, because it’s almost always windy).  I couldn’t bail on my walk today with the conditions so perfect for once.  So I dragged my weary body off the couch and out the door.

Isn’t it funny how exercise should make you tired, but actually does the opposite?  By the time the walk was over, I was wide awake.  I guess the fresh air did me some good.  I felt pretty good, even towards the end, where I tend to slow down and convince my feet to keep going.  I think it helped it was overcast – I didn’t feel overheated and gross.

I got some good news later in the afternoon – after about 15 different interviews and a month and a half of frantically looking, I finally got offered a job!  Not one I’d ideally have chosen, and only on a casual basis, but after so many rejections it’s a step in the right direction.

I kept up my healthy eating for dinner, and I may even try a 7-minute workout later tonight if my energy levels don’t crap out on me (which there is a risk of happening).  I don’t know why I struggled so much with healthy eating before.  Granted, it takes some effort and planning, but it’s not difficult.  Other than fruit and a couple of naughty little after-dinner treats, I’ve pretty much cut out sugar.  I’m only drinking water and milk (six months ago, I’d drink diet coke with most meals).  I’ve completely cut out take away (six months ago I’d have it 3-4 times a week).  I think now I’m rejoining the work force I may find it all a little bit harder, but I think it will be okay.  I just have to be extra meticulous at planning ahead and I can’t let myself get lazy.  I think I can do it!

-JD